Border Patrol

I'm not sure how it is for most people, but entering Canada as a professional online poker player is not fun.

This is Canada's primary concern: You have to leave America in order to make a living...you have the ability to make tons of money while in Canada. You have no reason to come back to the states other than to see family. How do they know you don't just plan on disappearing into Canada for longer than 6 months (the maximum amount of time you're allowed to stay on a tourist visa)? It also kinda looks bad when everything you own is in the back of your truck.

Rachel (250lb pissed off black woman, aka Border Patrol Rottweiler) was NOT happy to see us!

Rachel: So what you're telling me is that you're leaving America to make a living in Canada?
Me: Yes
Rachel: That you've packed up everything you own and are moving here?
Me: Not "everything". And we're only staying for 6 months.
Rachel: Really? What ties do you have to the US?
Me: Umm...my parents and friends all live here.
Rachel: So? Who cares? Do you have a mortgage?
Me: No
Rachel: a lease?
Me: No
Rachel: a wife?
Me: No
Rachel: So what you're saying is you're coming to live in Canada in order to make money because they won't let you in the US and you have no reason to come back?
Me: Um, I have a gym membership that's currently frozen until I get back (she didn't find this funny AT ALL).
Rachel: Are you serious? *Staring at me like I'm retarded* Are you in school?
Me: I just graduated (I thought it was easier to say this than explain I have one online class left. BIG MISTAKE).
Rachel: We searched your car and found a text book in your grey bin. What do you need a text book for if you've graduated?
Me: Ummmm...uh...I'm taking an online class. Technically I'm ABOUT to graduate.
Rachel: Oh, so you're moving to Canada to make a living, no reason to return to the US (other than my gym membership Rach! C'mon!), and you're a liar! Do you really think I'm gonna let you into Canada?
Me: ...I hope so.

After about 2 1/2 hours of this we finally convince Rachel that we're worthy of Canada.

In the end I thanked her for letting us in and she gave me a smile as if to say "you're lucky I'm not a COMPLETE bitch or I'd send your happy ass back across the border. I'm pretty sure we were getting in all along and she just wanted to light a fire under our asses for kicks. She wasn't so bad. Nick's still convinced she's the anti-christ.