OMG SGC

As I've said previously, Whistler is the Mecca of downhill mountain biking. That's AWESOME...sort of.

"But Chris, how is that not awesome?" you ask.

There's something called Summer Gravity Camp (SGC). If you're between the ages of 11 and 18 years old, you have a $5,000+ downhill mountain bike, and your parents are willing to cough up $2,500 for the program, then you get to downhill mountain bike in Whistler for a week being coached by the sickest pros in downhill mountain biking...AWESOME RIGHT!!??

NO.

Not when Tantalus Lodge, my home in Whistler, is where all these high energy, rich, spoiled, 11 through 18-year-old kids are staying for 3 weeks.

For 3 weeks we have to deal with these little bastards running around, unsupervised, terrorizing the Tantalus Lodge.

Half the time we're playing poker it's like earthquakes are happening in the rooms above us. Any day now the ceiling is going to cave in. Sometimes after playing poker all day, we wanna go down to the hot tub and relax, have a beer, maybe see if there's a 1-percenter hanging out (as I mentioned before, 99% of the girls in Whistler are less than attractive). But what happens when we arrive at the hot tub? There are twenty 14-year-old kids sitting around in silence (most of them anyway). Most of them are actually alright, Oooooh, except that one kid who is obviously the cool kid in the group. You know the one that won't shut the hell up, the one who you swear might be the most annoying child on the planet and he's obviously here because his parents think it's worth it to spend $2,500 just to get him the hell out of their house. Oh, Colt McClellan, you little snot-nosed punk.

Colt McClellan was that kid. A blonde haired, 100-pound 16/17-year-old, mountain biker who looked more like a 14-year-old girl. Think Taylor Hanson.

I'd like to think I'm above verbally bashing a kid in front of his friends, but Colt was pushin' it. Trying to make the most of a crappy situation, Nick and I say "screw it" and decide to chill in the hot tub anyway. When asking about SGC and downhill mountain biking in general every kid was cool and helpful, except for Colt (nice name btw).

Colt: Have you ever downhill mountain biked before?
Me: No, the only extreme sports I've done are snowboarding and a lot of skateboarding when I was younger.
Colt: Skateboarding's for pussies
Me: *lol, this is gonna be a swell time in the hot tub*
Nick: Have you ever done any motocross?
Colt: pffff, motocross isn't nearly as dangerous as downhill mountain biking.
Nick: Orly? The steel rod holding my femur in place says differently.
Colt: In mountain biking when you do a jump you go long and not high, it's definitely more dangerous.
Nick: I've done 110' jumps on a dirt bike. How far have you gone on a mountain bike?
Colt: About 50'. But you have to go insane fast to hit 50' on a mountain bike.
Nick: How fast do you think you have to go to hit 110' on a dirt bike?
Colt: It's not the same. Trust me it's a lot more dangerous.

About every 10 minutes Colt would chime in to explain how he was the sickest downhill mountain biker, how he totally hit on some girl in the sauna, how he liked the taste of beer (lol).

Man, I can't wait for SGC to be over. For now, enjoy this video of last year's Summer Gravity Camp